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Architecture – A Glimpse Into My Past


Image by Darren Braun, Text by Calvin Ngan
Architecture students, we’re the model maker, draftsperson, site surveyor, designer, presenter, graphic designer for presentation boards, and 3D artist for animation and building illustration.
I told my mom that I am pretty much exhausted with studies, I could not take it anymore and she said same goes for Lawyers, Doctors, Accountants but I beg to differ. Lawyers? How many roles do they play? Not to mention Doctors and Accountants, I believe they have this standard set of documents that are recyclable, documents that requires some minor editing. Basic stuff, big deal!
Unlike architects, every new projects is unique, you can’t simply modify an existing project and pass it off as a new project.
For the past few months, I am slowly but surely turning into a Living Zombie. How I wish I could turn back time and start everything all over again, web programmer would be my first choice. Just in case you’re wondering why I’ve decided to take up architecture instead of web designing, it all begins with my obesity with computers and the internet, the moment I was introduce to the world wide web, its been an adventure. I surfed the internet for hours, god knows how long, designing and coding, my parents on the other hand dislike the sight of me staring at the comp for hours.
I failed my exams, could not keep up in class but then again, that’s my fxxx bloody problem right? 1998/1999 was the year the comp died, my request for a new comp was swiftly rejected for whatever reasons known only to them, to supplement my thirst for the world wide web, I started to lay my hands on the IT pull out section of the newspapers and computer magazines.
I was told by a close friend of mine during high school that my obesity with the internet is worrying my parents; they feared that I might turn out to be a useless piece of shit, I believe it is perfectly alright to love the internet, sadly, their mind choose to see what it sees.
That is why I took up Architecture, a love hate relationship.
Last year I’ve decided to take a break from studies, worked for a year and simply didn’t enjoy what I am doing, possibly the lack of passion and the constant nagging and scolding from my ex-boss. My mum said that I am lucky because of the scolding, or else I would have stayed back in Malaysia and work for good. Typical Asian mentality, is there happiness now? am I happy? The stress and depression that I am going through, I would have shot myself in the head if I had a gun, the best part is I don’t even have to clean up my own mess, but then again, the problem is I don’t have a gun.
They may think that they know how to make a baby, but do they really understand all the intricate details? Sure, they’ve got the basics covered — man meets woman, they both get naked and have sex, and nine months later out pops Junior – but there’s a lot more to it than that, how about parenthood?
Parents, they never listen, never understand my needs. I could have been so much more than what I am (a useless piece of shit) today, a little bit of everything, lots of nothing. Anyway, Web2.0 is here, the internet gold rush is back again and this time around I am not going to miss it – even if it means I have to give up my studies. I say, F it!

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